French Joke thread
March-27th-2003, 01:27 PM
#16
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rabbit and the snake
a collegue at work told me this the other day ... it was on the radio
two blind animals meet in the woods one day one english and one french , they bump into each other and greet each other. the english animal says to the french animal could you tell me what I am? .. so the french animal feals the english animal and says well you have 2 long furry ears , a lot of fur, and your rear legs are longer than ur front legs, your nose also twitches. oh that's easy, YOUR A RABBIT ,, so then the Rabbit says ok let me see if I can guess what you are, so the rabbit feals the French animal and says, well you are long and slender, your head is narrow you have no nose and your slimey , you also have no backbone, ohh that's easy your a SNAKE ......
two blind animals meet in the woods one day one english and one french , they bump into each other and greet each other. the english animal says to the french animal could you tell me what I am? .. so the french animal feals the english animal and says well you have 2 long furry ears , a lot of fur, and your rear legs are longer than ur front legs, your nose also twitches. oh that's easy, YOUR A RABBIT ,, so then the Rabbit says ok let me see if I can guess what you are, so the rabbit feals the French animal and says, well you are long and slender, your head is narrow you have no nose and your slimey , you also have no backbone, ohh that's easy your a SNAKE ......
March-27th-2003, 01:41 PM
#17
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Re: Re: rabbit and the snake
Originally posted by Protegé Menacé
no, the end is supposed to say:
head is narrow you have no nose and your slimmy , you also have no backbone and your long and slender,,, ohh that's easy youre French......
no, the end is supposed to say:
head is narrow you have no nose and your slimmy , you also have no backbone and your long and slender,,, ohh that's easy youre French......
March-31st-2003, 08:49 AM
#18
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I'm back with some more!"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
---- Hannibal Lecter
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton
Oh man I just found some on-line. ROFL
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Jacques Chirac, President of France. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." Dennis Miller
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the *****?" Dennis Miller
Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
---- Hannibal Lecter
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton
Oh man I just found some on-line. ROFL
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Jacques Chirac, President of France. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." Dennis Miller
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the *****?" Dennis Miller
Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
March-31st-2003, 08:52 AM
#19
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March-31st-2003, 08:59 AM
#20
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Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands in the
air?
A. The Army
Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam?
A. So the French can show him how to surrender.
True Story. The other day, an American congressman asked a French
diplomat if he spoke German.
The French diplomat said no.
The American said, "You're Welcome."
Q. How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five... One to sit on his @!#$ and watch and do nothing, The
second to turn tail and run, The third to roll over, The fourth to
surrender to the light bulb and snitch out the rest of the group,
And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States for
help.
Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes?
A: In France.
air?
A. The Army
Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam?
A. So the French can show him how to surrender.
True Story. The other day, an American congressman asked a French
diplomat if he spoke German.
The French diplomat said no.
The American said, "You're Welcome."
Q. How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five... One to sit on his @!#$ and watch and do nothing, The
second to turn tail and run, The third to roll over, The fourth to
surrender to the light bulb and snitch out the rest of the group,
And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States for
help.
Q: Where do you find 60 million french jokes?
A: In France.
April-2nd-2003, 01:39 PM
#22
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: W.Htfd. CT
Posts: 545
Jay Leno says, "It is no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either.
In a rare show of bravery, a French soldier answered an order from his commanding officer and ran out on to the field of battle in the line of fire to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier and dashed back to his HQ. The officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal for risking your life to save the details of the locations of our secret warehouses."
"Warehouses?" said the soldier. "Sacré bleu! I thought you said whorehouses."
Jay Leno, a few summers ago: "France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing". You know, like they did in WWII."
Something to ponder:
You are the President of the United States. Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough
to completely wipe France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could be sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As the President, you must decide: Do you stay up late on the night of the impact to watch the coverage live, or tape it and watch it in the morning?
In 1966 upon being told that Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated from French soil President Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk, "Ask him about the cemeteries Dean!" At end of their next meeting Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II. DeGaulle never answered.
Come on now. Give the French a break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War, but then again, they were fighting the French.
In a rare show of bravery, a French soldier answered an order from his commanding officer and ran out on to the field of battle in the line of fire to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier and dashed back to his HQ. The officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal for risking your life to save the details of the locations of our secret warehouses."
"Warehouses?" said the soldier. "Sacré bleu! I thought you said whorehouses."
Jay Leno, a few summers ago: "France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing". You know, like they did in WWII."
Something to ponder:
You are the President of the United States. Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough
to completely wipe France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could be sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As the President, you must decide: Do you stay up late on the night of the impact to watch the coverage live, or tape it and watch it in the morning?
In 1966 upon being told that Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated from French soil President Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk, "Ask him about the cemeteries Dean!" At end of their next meeting Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+ soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II. DeGaulle never answered.
Come on now. Give the French a break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War, but then again, they were fighting the French.
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