Stories about the crappiest cars we've owned
August-24th-2004, 09:04 PM
#1
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,164
Stories about the crappiest cars we've owned
Maybe you’ve got a sweet P5 like mine. Or, maybe you get to drive a rare MP3 or Mazdaspeed Protégé. But it probably wasn’t always so. Did you have a piece of crap once? Share your story… here’s mine.
In high school, I bought a VW Rabbit diesel. The car cost me $500, and another $500 covered replacing the engine (which had a cracked block). The body was good, a strange hunter orange color with no rust or dents. The clean beige seats were free of tears, and were offset by a white headliner, weirdo dark brown plastic trim, and pitifully fake woodgrain on the dash. A huge analog clock took the space where the tach should’ve been, but it was so loud an idiot could shift it by hearing the engine lumber its way to a deafening clatter. The carpets were soaked in brake fluid, which I was assured wasn’t a problem because the lines had been replaced. The inside of the car reeked of DOT#3 for a long time, until Vanilloroma exorcised that demon. After a little buffing, a new window and a set of Scirocco wheels, I was on the road. Funny thing was, it really wasn’t a half bad looking car.
Things were great at first, and then things started to go wrong…
1) Left front strut seized; every time I went over a bump I heard and felt a loud “bang” that damn near shook fillings from my teeth.
2) Emergency brake failed twice, once going down a steep hill (Thank god for engine braking and a few strategically used swearwords)
3) Short in dash burned up much of wiring harness; most things still worked (but the battery lost charge all the time). It took at least 3 Vanilloroma trees to get rid of the smell.
4) Heater core ruptured. Turning defrost on coated the windows with hot steam.
5) Leak around windshield soaked the carpets in a rainstorm (which – here’s the optimist in me - washed out some of the brake fluid).
6) Water pump seized, which overheated engine, which warped the head. Oil was in the coolant, and coolant was in the oil. Head and water pump replaced, but not after I had the fun experience of being stranded on the side of the freeway.
7) All four indicators worked when the hazard light was switched on, but only three of the four turn signals worked.
8) Engine mounts tore, which caused the resonator to crack – about once a week for a month or so. The engine would become extremely loud, like a little Peterbilt (though inside I remember it had a distinctly sporty sound that I liked until the pipe broke completely off and the rattling metal occurred).
9) Horn died; this was funny, because at first it made a sound like Herbie the Love Bug, the same pitiful, asthmatic wail he made when he teetered on the edge of the bridge to commit suicide. I remember holding my hand down on the horn, hearing it fade into silence. It never made another sound…
10) It refused to stay in reverse. To back up, I had to hold the gear in the “R” position as I let out the clutch. This was sometimes followed by crunching and gnashing of metal as it refused to stay in gear. That was usually followed by a torrent of angry swear words.
That’s all I remember. So, after seven or eight months of pure hell, I had enough. I was done with VW. Every now and again I get the urge to order a new 1.8L turbo GTI from the dealer, silver, with all options. Then, the Neuspeed parts would follow. But then I tell myself I’m totally nuts, I’m much better off with my P5. After all, it’s got a hatch too, right?
In high school, I bought a VW Rabbit diesel. The car cost me $500, and another $500 covered replacing the engine (which had a cracked block). The body was good, a strange hunter orange color with no rust or dents. The clean beige seats were free of tears, and were offset by a white headliner, weirdo dark brown plastic trim, and pitifully fake woodgrain on the dash. A huge analog clock took the space where the tach should’ve been, but it was so loud an idiot could shift it by hearing the engine lumber its way to a deafening clatter. The carpets were soaked in brake fluid, which I was assured wasn’t a problem because the lines had been replaced. The inside of the car reeked of DOT#3 for a long time, until Vanilloroma exorcised that demon. After a little buffing, a new window and a set of Scirocco wheels, I was on the road. Funny thing was, it really wasn’t a half bad looking car.
Things were great at first, and then things started to go wrong…
1) Left front strut seized; every time I went over a bump I heard and felt a loud “bang” that damn near shook fillings from my teeth.
2) Emergency brake failed twice, once going down a steep hill (Thank god for engine braking and a few strategically used swearwords)
3) Short in dash burned up much of wiring harness; most things still worked (but the battery lost charge all the time). It took at least 3 Vanilloroma trees to get rid of the smell.
4) Heater core ruptured. Turning defrost on coated the windows with hot steam.
5) Leak around windshield soaked the carpets in a rainstorm (which – here’s the optimist in me - washed out some of the brake fluid).
6) Water pump seized, which overheated engine, which warped the head. Oil was in the coolant, and coolant was in the oil. Head and water pump replaced, but not after I had the fun experience of being stranded on the side of the freeway.
7) All four indicators worked when the hazard light was switched on, but only three of the four turn signals worked.
8) Engine mounts tore, which caused the resonator to crack – about once a week for a month or so. The engine would become extremely loud, like a little Peterbilt (though inside I remember it had a distinctly sporty sound that I liked until the pipe broke completely off and the rattling metal occurred).
9) Horn died; this was funny, because at first it made a sound like Herbie the Love Bug, the same pitiful, asthmatic wail he made when he teetered on the edge of the bridge to commit suicide. I remember holding my hand down on the horn, hearing it fade into silence. It never made another sound…
10) It refused to stay in reverse. To back up, I had to hold the gear in the “R” position as I let out the clutch. This was sometimes followed by crunching and gnashing of metal as it refused to stay in gear. That was usually followed by a torrent of angry swear words.
That’s all I remember. So, after seven or eight months of pure hell, I had enough. I was done with VW. Every now and again I get the urge to order a new 1.8L turbo GTI from the dealer, silver, with all options. Then, the Neuspeed parts would follow. But then I tell myself I’m totally nuts, I’m much better off with my P5. After all, it’s got a hatch too, right?
August-25th-2004, 07:48 AM
#2
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland
Posts: 999
Ahh great thread!
I bought a 1983(?) ford escort wagon for $1300. Before the Protege5 - it was the 'cool sport wagon' with a 5-spd and and the infamous cracked-head foamy/elmers glue in the oil pan. It was dark brown with a sun-scorched tan interior.
It held band equipment, could be slept -in on a road trip, and had decent fuel mileage and performance... it was the party-wagon.
The rear hatch rusted like all of 'em.
The engine ran dry on oil several times... i would then refill it and it would start again. The car *hated* me for this abuse.
I did put the casstte deck and 8 speakers with 2 Coustic amps system in it (for 1988 - it was the fo-shizzle on base!) and painted the wheels and grill gold. Nicely cleaned and waxed - it didn't look too bad...
fastfwd to a few years later... I had a 72 Monte Carlo and the escort was a beater - i would let it coast the last few feet in front of the dumpster at work and while it was still rolling - jump out and let it crash in to the dumpster 'just for fun' (the car didn't see it that way...)
When the starter went out, then alternator - i would roll/start it by backing up in to an uphill space at work... It worked for awhile until it stalled on a busy road one day- level/flat.... I still remember jumping up and down on the hood like a maniac srcreaming at the car... (I had issues)
When the front end ball joints/CV joints gave it up - me and my brother pushed-started it (5 laps in a parking lot until it 'caught') and i drove it wheezing, shuddering, head lights dimming... to a closed junk yar where i pulled the license plates and RAN to my brother's car for a quick get-a-way...
Nope. don't miss it at all. And i have resolved my issues.
I bought a 1983(?) ford escort wagon for $1300. Before the Protege5 - it was the 'cool sport wagon' with a 5-spd and and the infamous cracked-head foamy/elmers glue in the oil pan. It was dark brown with a sun-scorched tan interior.
It held band equipment, could be slept -in on a road trip, and had decent fuel mileage and performance... it was the party-wagon.
The rear hatch rusted like all of 'em.
The engine ran dry on oil several times... i would then refill it and it would start again. The car *hated* me for this abuse.
I did put the casstte deck and 8 speakers with 2 Coustic amps system in it (for 1988 - it was the fo-shizzle on base!) and painted the wheels and grill gold. Nicely cleaned and waxed - it didn't look too bad...
fastfwd to a few years later... I had a 72 Monte Carlo and the escort was a beater - i would let it coast the last few feet in front of the dumpster at work and while it was still rolling - jump out and let it crash in to the dumpster 'just for fun' (the car didn't see it that way...)
When the starter went out, then alternator - i would roll/start it by backing up in to an uphill space at work... It worked for awhile until it stalled on a busy road one day- level/flat.... I still remember jumping up and down on the hood like a maniac srcreaming at the car... (I had issues)
When the front end ball joints/CV joints gave it up - me and my brother pushed-started it (5 laps in a parking lot until it 'caught') and i drove it wheezing, shuddering, head lights dimming... to a closed junk yar where i pulled the license plates and RAN to my brother's car for a quick get-a-way...
Nope. don't miss it at all. And i have resolved my issues.
August-25th-2004, 11:10 AM
#4
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Tyler, TX
Posts: 54
Before my new pro5 my grand *****
i had a 91 grand prix before my pro5...
boy was it a piece.
my stepmom had it b4 me... where most of the damage came from.
The hood had no paint. The driver's side window did not roll down. All the power buttons(windows locks mirrors) on every door were mashed in. The radio would only play on the left side of the car. The rear seats had a huge crayon wax stain. and on and on... but it ran... until one day. It wouldnt even turn. I said *** it.. .and began the process of getting my pro5
boy was it a piece.
my stepmom had it b4 me... where most of the damage came from.
The hood had no paint. The driver's side window did not roll down. All the power buttons(windows locks mirrors) on every door were mashed in. The radio would only play on the left side of the car. The rear seats had a huge crayon wax stain. and on and on... but it ran... until one day. It wouldnt even turn. I said *** it.. .and began the process of getting my pro5
August-26th-2004, 02:27 AM
#6
TStar
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Germany
Posts: 229
in 1998, when starting my law studies i got 1991 Renault Clio as a present for beeing mobile (I was faaar away from home 8)
Well.. the car was about 7700 DM at that time (roughly about 4000$).. at the point where i sold it i had about 13000 DM invested in the repairs of this car ... luckily some used car insurance took over most of the money (about 10000 DM) ... it was horrible... everything got defective on this car.. the clutch, motormounts, drivers seat, brakes, exhaust system,struts etc. pp .... just anything you can imagine on a car.... it was so horrible... never buy french cars!!!
Well.. the car was about 7700 DM at that time (roughly about 4000$).. at the point where i sold it i had about 13000 DM invested in the repairs of this car ... luckily some used car insurance took over most of the money (about 10000 DM) ... it was horrible... everything got defective on this car.. the clutch, motormounts, drivers seat, brakes, exhaust system,struts etc. pp .... just anything you can imagine on a car.... it was so horrible... never buy french cars!!!
Last edited by tailland; August-26th-2004 at 02:29 AM.
August-26th-2004, 12:41 PM
#7
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland
Posts: 999
Other crappy cars i have had:
94 GrandDamn - you had to pull motor mounts/rotate the engine to change plugs (WTF?)
To change the serpentine belt - same.
89 Caprice Wagon - The 'Brady Mobile' complete with faux wood paneling.
-leaked and smelled like wet dog when it rained...
-the windshield washer would just 'turn on' sometimes and couldn't be shut off - you had to pull the fuse - while it was spitting w/w fluid on your neck...
-front end was sloppy-worn at 100K
-the $500 electro/mechanial carb POS needed to be replced to pass MD emisions
-low compression in each head (for a chevy SB with 100k???! (WTF?)
-slow, poor mileage and handled terrible. The dodge caravan BLEW IT AWAY in every performance category...
Summed up - it 'represented almost 10 years of automotive design experience unimpeded by progress'.
94 GrandDamn - you had to pull motor mounts/rotate the engine to change plugs (WTF?)
To change the serpentine belt - same.
89 Caprice Wagon - The 'Brady Mobile' complete with faux wood paneling.
-leaked and smelled like wet dog when it rained...
-the windshield washer would just 'turn on' sometimes and couldn't be shut off - you had to pull the fuse - while it was spitting w/w fluid on your neck...
-front end was sloppy-worn at 100K
-the $500 electro/mechanial carb POS needed to be replced to pass MD emisions
-low compression in each head (for a chevy SB with 100k???! (WTF?)
-slow, poor mileage and handled terrible. The dodge caravan BLEW IT AWAY in every performance category...
Summed up - it 'represented almost 10 years of automotive design experience unimpeded by progress'.
August-27th-2004, 08:22 AM
#8
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,164
Everyone in my high school seemed to own an old Datsun of some sort. And, it was as if these cars were cursed – they were all invariably involved in an accident at some point. One friend had a 510 wagon, which had a rear main seal leak that caused the clutch to slip constantly. All four tires were different brands, nearly bald, and sometimes with exposed cords. When it got too bad (or when he would have a blowout), he would replace whatever tire was the culprit with whatever the gas station was throwing away. I forget how he did it, but he crunched the front fender of the car, and had to slap on a used fender. Since the frame was slightly bent, the fender always caught the edge of the driver’s door with a loud bang during entry/ exit.
Another friend had yet another 510 wagon, complete with cigarette-burned plush gray power seats out of an Oldsmobile or something. The seats were bolted to the floor in a very non-stock fashion – wood blocks were used to position the rails high enough off the floor. I don’t remember how he wrecked his Datsun, but he managed to.
My very first car was a Datsun 210, and you guessed it, it was a wagon. It was pitifully slow, the only AT car I’ve ever owned. The color was kind of a pastel yellow, and rust was just beginning to poke through the sheet metal around the wheel wells. Other than that, it had remarkably low miles on it, and the body was (at one time) straight. It met its sad fate careening around a corner in the rain, which resulted in me slamming the right front tire into a curb, and pushing it tight up against the firewall. The suspension was mangled, and the entire front end was bent. The tow truck came, and so did the police… I sold it for a couple hundred bucks, because the engine still was quite healthy. Curiously, the man I sold it to worked in a body shop, and I saw the car in town months later all straightened up.
The saddest Datsun story I have is that of my friend’s 240Z. It was in very nice shape, and just had tint, new rims and tires on it when it was totaled by an inattentive driver. This was worse than the fate of another guy’s Z, which only required minor cosmetic work after it went through a barbwire fence after a brake system failure.
In truth, all of these Datsuns were not bad cars. In fact, I would very much like to own a nice two door 510 some day. But what gets them on to the Crappiest Cars list is their strange, almost hand-of-God destiny to meet their fate in a traffic pile up. So, if your idea of fun is being stuck in the middle of an intersection dumping coolant out of a bent radiator while the horn sounds constantly from being smashed in the impact, then one of these cars are for you.
Another friend had yet another 510 wagon, complete with cigarette-burned plush gray power seats out of an Oldsmobile or something. The seats were bolted to the floor in a very non-stock fashion – wood blocks were used to position the rails high enough off the floor. I don’t remember how he wrecked his Datsun, but he managed to.
My very first car was a Datsun 210, and you guessed it, it was a wagon. It was pitifully slow, the only AT car I’ve ever owned. The color was kind of a pastel yellow, and rust was just beginning to poke through the sheet metal around the wheel wells. Other than that, it had remarkably low miles on it, and the body was (at one time) straight. It met its sad fate careening around a corner in the rain, which resulted in me slamming the right front tire into a curb, and pushing it tight up against the firewall. The suspension was mangled, and the entire front end was bent. The tow truck came, and so did the police… I sold it for a couple hundred bucks, because the engine still was quite healthy. Curiously, the man I sold it to worked in a body shop, and I saw the car in town months later all straightened up.
The saddest Datsun story I have is that of my friend’s 240Z. It was in very nice shape, and just had tint, new rims and tires on it when it was totaled by an inattentive driver. This was worse than the fate of another guy’s Z, which only required minor cosmetic work after it went through a barbwire fence after a brake system failure.
In truth, all of these Datsuns were not bad cars. In fact, I would very much like to own a nice two door 510 some day. But what gets them on to the Crappiest Cars list is their strange, almost hand-of-God destiny to meet their fate in a traffic pile up. So, if your idea of fun is being stuck in the middle of an intersection dumping coolant out of a bent radiator while the horn sounds constantly from being smashed in the impact, then one of these cars are for you.
August-27th-2004, 12:04 PM
#9
Awesome Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 3,186
1968 blue Chevelle Sedan w/ 230ci straight six. Bought for $800.00 and I was ripped off besides!
I was 18, wtf did I know?
Whoever had it before me had the rear end jacked up and I guess had 60 series tires (wide for back in the day!) back there, but when I got it, just had the original matching blue steelies with baby moon hubcaps. Ever seen a Chevelle sedan with the ***-end three feet in the air? LOL it looked like hell.
Everything in the engine bay leaked--radiator, oil pan, head gasket, you name it!
Every six months (we had twice-per-year inspections in PA then) I had to replace the ball joints, which I suppose was indicative of something much worse, but the mechanic I took it to was an idiot and again, wtf did I know?
This thing was just SCARY to drive--the steering was so loose I was never sure the car was going to go in the direction I turned the wheel and the worst part, the accelerator cable used to get stuck (never knew exactly when this was going to happen, so it was always a pleasant surprise!) and the only way to stop the car was to turn it off! Luckily, when the engine was off I didn't lose the power steering and it didn't have power brakes.
I gave it to my younger brother when he started college at Penn State. He ran it into a ditch and it was never heard from again. What'd he replace it with? A 1978 red Pinto two-door wagon!
I was 18, wtf did I know?
Whoever had it before me had the rear end jacked up and I guess had 60 series tires (wide for back in the day!) back there, but when I got it, just had the original matching blue steelies with baby moon hubcaps. Ever seen a Chevelle sedan with the ***-end three feet in the air? LOL it looked like hell.
Everything in the engine bay leaked--radiator, oil pan, head gasket, you name it!
Every six months (we had twice-per-year inspections in PA then) I had to replace the ball joints, which I suppose was indicative of something much worse, but the mechanic I took it to was an idiot and again, wtf did I know?
This thing was just SCARY to drive--the steering was so loose I was never sure the car was going to go in the direction I turned the wheel and the worst part, the accelerator cable used to get stuck (never knew exactly when this was going to happen, so it was always a pleasant surprise!) and the only way to stop the car was to turn it off! Luckily, when the engine was off I didn't lose the power steering and it didn't have power brakes.
I gave it to my younger brother when he started college at Penn State. He ran it into a ditch and it was never heard from again. What'd he replace it with? A 1978 red Pinto two-door wagon!
Last edited by kargoboy; August-27th-2004 at 12:07 PM.
August-30th-2004, 01:47 PM
#10
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland
Posts: 999
But wait! Another one!! How about my '79 Monte Carlo with the 3.8L six?? What a pig!! It could take MILES to get up to 70 MPH!!
Of course it isn't the car's fault i hit a dump truck and a stake bed truck at the same time... The stake bed truck ripped the roof darn near off... So whaddya' do iffn' yer a rednek? YOU FINISH THE JOB AND USE A CUTTER TO REMOVE THE ROOF!!
Of course it isn't the car's fault i hit a dump truck and a stake bed truck at the same time... The stake bed truck ripped the roof darn near off... So whaddya' do iffn' yer a rednek? YOU FINISH THE JOB AND USE A CUTTER TO REMOVE THE ROOF!!
September-14th-2004, 09:10 PM
#12
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 83
1988 toyota tercel. i paid 1800 for it and that was about 800 to much, but i was 17 and didn't know.... the kid i bought it from had a (what i thought was sweet) stereo in it that he completely removed before i bought it, he just cut the wire harnes and pulled. stereo never sounded quite right when i got one installed. the thing lost its brakes on numerous occasions and i had to drive with the e-brake for weeks at a time. also it stalled all the damn time and the starter was **** so i had to drive with 3 feet.... thank god i have wide feet, one foot on the brake/clutch and the other on the gas to keep her goin.... it went through an alternator about every 8-10 months... i finaly got rid of that thing and bought my fathers truck... a 1992 isuzu pos for 1000.... it used to be red but it was so faded it was pink. one day my roomate left and side swiped it. so i made him pay for the repairs and i paid for a color change.... rally blue... i thought it was pretty sweet after that.... untill i ripped up the plastic bed liner and found three holes in the bed one of them the size of a basket ball... hahaha... what else... pulled the e-brake handle right through the cab when the cable snapped, the clutch was completely gone, took about 10 minutes to get her up to speed, and anything over 2500 rpm.... forget it.... a few alternators as well, and the idle and timming where screwed up from the day my father bought it till the day i traded it in for my sweet mazda 3
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