Theninemilly

Ok well lets see where do i start? I will be 21 next week and she is 18 right now just to let you guys know. I was dating this girl for about 9 months when she decides that she wants a break. Well i live in fredericksburg Va and she lives in Baltimore, for anyone who doesn't know the area its about 80 miles apart and bout an hour and a half drive. The relationship was great and i had alot of fun but the distance thing was starting to suck really bad.

So we took our lil break, and the reason why we had it in the first place was b/c she thought she had feelings for her ex which lives like 3 mins from house. She bitched him out one day while i was there and made it apparent that she wanted nothing to do with him and for him to leave her alone. I then told her if we were to ever get back together it would be for long term, I am looking for someone that i could possiblely live the rest of my life with.

So we had our lil break and she decided that she could not stand being with out me. Well that was about a month ago, so we have been doing great for about a month now. Well tonight i was on the phone with her and she told me that she wasnt' gonna come down here on friday b.c she had to work on saturday, which she knew the whole time. So i proceeded to say well fine im not coming up on sunday then. I am sick and tired of her not coming down here and me making all the scarfices in the relationship, i drive up there every weekend to see her.

Then we got in a lil tiff and i asked her how much she loves me, she reliped i love you very very much and then i asked her do you think you could ever move down here and her reply was no. She was told me several times that she would never move down here, then she would say yes i would move down there, blah,blah,blah,blah.

Shes in community college right now and about 15 mins from my house there is the community college i went to. She had talked about transfering there then going to Mary Washington College after her 2 yrs. Now she is like i cant move down there and leave everything behind me. But one of the few things i asked her was before we got back together was, would she move down here next spring. I have an excellent job and i make almost all the money in the relationship. So i cant move up there b/c the money is down here and that would have been about an hr and a half drive to work then another hr and half home after work. So i asked her tonight if she was never gonna move down here then what has the point of us being together b/c im not moving up there. And she said i dunno, so we decided to just end everything.


Now this i where i need ur guys help. I personally want a long term relationship with possible marriage. That's just me, im the kinda guy to stay in relationships for a very long time. I enjoy them very much. Should i just say forget about her and move on with my life? Should i think about what she wants and try to work things out? Any suggestions would really really help me out right now. I just wanna know ur guys opinions. I would also really like the ladies of this forum to please put in ur opinions as well. Thank you guys very very much

Brian

Makaveli

I dunno about the states, but I know that about 80% of the 18 year old girls up here don't really even wanna think about commitment. I understand them, as I'm a type of person that wouldn't wanna commit to anything when I'm only 20. I think that every girls has to get the dancing and clubbing out of their system before they settle down. For some it takes longer then others.

I would definetely stay with her if I was you, but tell her that you can't be the only one making the effort to see each other. I think that it's unfair in general to be asking a girl that's 18 to be making any type of long term commitments such as moving in together, etc. I know that if my girlfriend was making all the money and paying for me, I wouldn't wanna be living with her and would rather stay at my house, finish school, and find a good job. Then I would think about moving in.

Good luck, and I hope everything works out fine for you two lovebirds

Sir Nuke

Brian.....it appears to me that YOU know what you want out of life...and have a direction. It alsp appears to me, from what you have told us, that your girlfriend does not. For her to believe or expect you to drop your good paying job and move, in my opinion is not reasonable....after all....in this day and age good jobs are hard to come by. IF you girlfriend is still in school and has not headed out on that career path yet...I think it reasonable for her to either move down there.....IF she intends for your relationship to continue....I can see her reason to be hesitent to move...if she does....and you two break up...then she is a long way from home...and alone on her own....and that probably scares her a bit.

There is an old saying..."if you love something...set it free, if its ment to be...the love will come back to you"

not much solace in that.....but.....I am sorry to say....many times in our lives, when it comes to matters of the heart.....the world can be a cruel place.

5SpeedP5

oy yea, i didnt read this all, but i know how it goes.... and i just broke up with my girlfriend, a girl i truely cared for, but because of lies from everyone around me it ended, oh well it wasnt right, life moves on, i already have a smile on my face not worrying about it anymore... thank god i can do that


time to start flirting again tomarrow someone needs to get laid this weekend

titocruzsd

why don't you try to move somewhere that's neutral (around 40 miles in between)? that way, you can still keep your job (it might be a pain in the @$$ drive, but if you're serious about the relationship, you're gonna have to make sacrifices), and she can still further her education. besides, community colleges are everywhere! i'm sure she could find one near the neutral point. she couldn't use the excuse of "leaving everything behind" because she wouldn't be that far away from home.

Theninemilly

I understand the whole moving closer thing but here's the problem. If i was to move 40 miles and she was to move 40 miles we would be in washington d.c. Personally i dont think i wanna live there, plus traffic is a night mare. If i was to move just out of D.C. the cost of living is really not worth it. Im talkin 2000 dollars a month for a townhouse. Where I live now, gives me that nice lil space from washington dc. Thank you guys for ur opinions.

Brian

lost_concept

Its time for me to speak my words of wisdom

You really love this girl and she really loves you.
But you have to becareful about all of this, You are about to become 21 and she is 18. No offense to the younger females of the board, but if she left you for this so called *Break* To attemp to see someone else, younger girls like to play lil foolish and stupid games and most arent ready for the type of level commitment your looking for. What would you of done if she took that break and fell in love with this other dude, Or what will u do if she wants to take a temporary break again out the blue, but the temporary turned into a extended break. You got to watch out for that. When females start doing stuff like that. Its a OMEN ! Meaning she is looking for other people. Playing those games.

So i am warning you ! Keep you eye out for that dude.
Next thing, if you and her truely love each other then working it your situation would be most logical . But if it cannot be worked out then you might have to consider moving on dude !

Marriage sucks, Commitments sucks ! Your a young man ! PIMP ON PLAYA !!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have a good job and with good jobs come sweet rides ! And then sweet girls ! *Watch out for them golddiggers though !*Let me shut up....
Anyways its worth a shot to making everything work. But if all else fails then

reking

Sorry for saying this, but 18 years old! To young for anything serious or long term. Move on, to much drama at that age. Find someone that will put as much effort into the relationship as you would. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so go fishing!

Pudge0878

My thoughts on this would be to move on. She is only 18. Maybe she is to young and still wants to have fun. I wasn't thinking bout marriage at 18. Now I am 24 And was supposed to get married and it didn't happen. And I wish it did... I am alot like you. I don't wanna play games any more. Good Luck Hun.

LitlRay

Brian,

I would give you advice but I dont think you would take it....

but I wish you the best anyways

-Ray

EDIT- for the rest of you - I would like to remind you that every person is different... I am 18 and I am in a very serious relationship - I am getting married next year. So please before you start judging age groups think of the others that arent like the rest.

Thank You -sorry for hijacking your thread brian I am now done

titocruzsd

....or muff diving!

protetype

Why does it seem this is too much to ask anymore? No games, no bs, just a good relationship. I just broke up with my (now ex) girlfriend a couple nights ago. I wanted a serious relationship (gettin too old for this ****! ) and she didn't. Then, last night I talked to her.. and I was told us getting together was one of the worst things that couldve ever happened. I felt like complete ****. But today.. I'm feeling a bit better, because this girl i like, told me she likes me, and we might hook up. (i swear i'm not shallow, but you've got to move on) bro, you'll find someone like that (that wants a long term) just give it time.

Theninemilly

I just wanted to say thank you for everyone that has helped me out this past week. I haven't talked to my ex since and i feel good. Now it's time to get back on the prowl. So watch out ladies im on my way!!! Foxy you better hide! LOL j/k

Brian