I think I might need help
June-25th-2003, 06:07 PM
#1
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: PA
Posts: 2,339
I think I might need help
OK, so I usually don't share my "problems" with anyone that I really don't know, i.e. internet people, but I'm afraid everyone I already know is probably sick of me 
Plus this place is like a second home, and there are many people with a lot of good ideas on here, automotive and otherwise.
Lately, I've been having some really bad anger management issues, and I think I need to start understanding how to calm myself down. I just got back from playing Raquetball with my boss, and lately when I've been playing sports (usually either r-ball or golf), I get super pissed off... Last week I got so mad I got light-headed I was so mad, today spit was flying out of my mouth while swearing. My co-workers tease me (not when I'm mad, they know better
) that I'm like the Hulk or something.... No, really... Seriously.
It's funny, because when someone hears about me getting upset, they don't believe it at all because I'm usually so mildy mannered and joking around. Some people still don't think that I'm capable of getting pissed off.
I don't get mad at anyone but myself. I think it's mostly a self-esteem issue. Like I'm not mad at my boss because he's beating me, I get mad because I'm so incosistant with my play. I either play really well, or really badly, and my mood with fluctuate accordingly. I'm really hard on myself.
And honestly, as bad as it sounds, I think it's because I'm not getting any action. I haven't gotten "any" for quite a while, and I think it's eating away at me. Not because I'm a stone-cold playa, but I think the lack of women correlates to my lack of self esteem. Something I need to work on I suppose
Anyhow, aside from that, does anyone have any advice for what I can do? Either preventing my anger, or at least coping with it? Aside from feeling somewhat embarrased afterwards, I'm afraid that it might lead to bigger problems down the road... Like health problems. My blood pressure whenever I get it checked is spot on healthy, not high, not too low. Right where it should be... Regardless, I'm not sure how healthy it can be if I don't get it under control soon.
Oh yea, don't say "get laid", because I already know that! hahaha....
Plus this place is like a second home, and there are many people with a lot of good ideas on here, automotive and otherwise.Lately, I've been having some really bad anger management issues, and I think I need to start understanding how to calm myself down. I just got back from playing Raquetball with my boss, and lately when I've been playing sports (usually either r-ball or golf), I get super pissed off... Last week I got so mad I got light-headed I was so mad, today spit was flying out of my mouth while swearing. My co-workers tease me (not when I'm mad, they know better
) that I'm like the Hulk or something.... No, really... Seriously. It's funny, because when someone hears about me getting upset, they don't believe it at all because I'm usually so mildy mannered and joking around. Some people still don't think that I'm capable of getting pissed off.
I don't get mad at anyone but myself. I think it's mostly a self-esteem issue. Like I'm not mad at my boss because he's beating me, I get mad because I'm so incosistant with my play. I either play really well, or really badly, and my mood with fluctuate accordingly. I'm really hard on myself.
And honestly, as bad as it sounds, I think it's because I'm not getting any action. I haven't gotten "any" for quite a while, and I think it's eating away at me. Not because I'm a stone-cold playa, but I think the lack of women correlates to my lack of self esteem. Something I need to work on I suppose
Anyhow, aside from that, does anyone have any advice for what I can do? Either preventing my anger, or at least coping with it? Aside from feeling somewhat embarrased afterwards, I'm afraid that it might lead to bigger problems down the road... Like health problems. My blood pressure whenever I get it checked is spot on healthy, not high, not too low. Right where it should be... Regardless, I'm not sure how healthy it can be if I don't get it under control soon.
Oh yea, don't say "get laid", because I already know that! hahaha....
June-25th-2003, 07:37 PM
#3
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,130
Just make sure u get a good pet. I have 4 german sheperds and one is just evil, It ate 5 hats 2 pairs of shoes and attacked my GTR motor ripping the plugs and wires off it :-(. Dont just get layed by a **** u will get herpes and hate yourself even more. I know how u feel i get some serious road rage sometimes.
June-25th-2003, 07:56 PM
#4
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Debt, Ca.
Posts: 283
Find/get a punching bag. One of the big ones...
I've had to deal with some anger/violence issues myself in the past few years. The one thing that's helped the most is when you find yourself getting bent over something ask yourself this, does it really matter? Is the outcome of this situation going to affect me in a week, month, or year? 97 times out of 100, I say no and quietly move one. For the three or four times where it does matter, and I might have a reason to get really bent, I just find another way to go about it.
Just know that some people don't care about you, what's happened to you today or any other day, and don't care if what they're doing makes you upset. Trying to get them to see your point through violence and anger only works in the movies.
The nicer I am with people, the farther I get in life.
I've had to deal with some anger/violence issues myself in the past few years. The one thing that's helped the most is when you find yourself getting bent over something ask yourself this, does it really matter? Is the outcome of this situation going to affect me in a week, month, or year? 97 times out of 100, I say no and quietly move one. For the three or four times where it does matter, and I might have a reason to get really bent, I just find another way to go about it.
Just know that some people don't care about you, what's happened to you today or any other day, and don't care if what they're doing makes you upset. Trying to get them to see your point through violence and anger only works in the movies.
The nicer I am with people, the farther I get in life.
June-25th-2003, 08:48 PM
#5
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Warrington, PA
Posts: 119
Did you ever stop and think what you look and sound like when you fly off the handle? How about when somone else has a fit? They look pretty silly don't they?
I used to be a f-in volcano. I used to throw things (golf clubs especially). Hell, I used to break clubs just practicing. I was psychotic. I finally figured out that no matter how mad I got I never felt any better. (I usually had to fix something or apologize for my antics) People who know me know (AC -after college) think that I'm the most laid back person on earth. It was an effort, but it's worth it.
My advice: you have control over so little in your life, let it roll off. You will feel better and some luck and love will come your way. Always remember the loonatic having a fit and see how far he gets.
Good luck
I used to be a f-in volcano. I used to throw things (golf clubs especially). Hell, I used to break clubs just practicing. I was psychotic. I finally figured out that no matter how mad I got I never felt any better. (I usually had to fix something or apologize for my antics) People who know me know (AC -after college) think that I'm the most laid back person on earth. It was an effort, but it's worth it.
My advice: you have control over so little in your life, let it roll off. You will feel better and some luck and love will come your way. Always remember the loonatic having a fit and see how far he gets.
Good luck
June-25th-2003, 10:26 PM
#6
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: PA
Posts: 2,339
Thanks for the replies, lady and gents. I do realize that I must look rediculous getting so mad over dumb ****, but I don't really *care* until it's after the fact. Then I realize how stupid it is... This has been going on for a while.
I have a cat, and I don't think I'd be down for getting another pet. My cat is pretty cool, although pretty worthless and lazy... And sometimes she brings in dead stuff, and even not dead stuff into the house, hahhaa... Yea that sucks pretty bad!
Anyway, I'm going golfing tomorrow, as I do just about every other week, and I'm going to see how I can do... I mean, in theory, it should be a great time... Taking off work, hanging out with the guys, it should be great, right??? I need to stop taking stuff that doesn't matter so seriously. Who cares how well I do at golf? I'm freaking lousy even when I'm doing good, what's it matter?
I have a cat, and I don't think I'd be down for getting another pet. My cat is pretty cool, although pretty worthless and lazy...
And sometimes she brings in dead stuff, and even not dead stuff into the house, hahhaa... Yea that sucks pretty bad!Anyway, I'm going golfing tomorrow, as I do just about every other week, and I'm going to see how I can do... I mean, in theory, it should be a great time... Taking off work, hanging out with the guys, it should be great, right??? I need to stop taking stuff that doesn't matter so seriously. Who cares how well I do at golf? I'm freaking lousy even when I'm doing good, what's it matter?
June-25th-2003, 10:51 PM
#8
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Shawnee,Ok
Posts: 518
Damn, I have almost the same problem. I get really fustrated very fast when **** don't work how I want. I just want to kill sombody. I get pissed if I do something stupid. For example, when I backed into my friends truck I was soooo pissed at myself and I proceded to punch the **** out of my trunk lid. Now there are small dents in it (and I think I broke my hand
). I just try to calm myself down and hope I feel better. I can relate to your problem and I hope you can learn to control it. Most people see me as being mild mannered also and have never seen me actually pissed of like that.
Ive put holes in my wall when I was losing at a game (threw the controller), punched holes in my door, broke stuff from throwing it, etc.. I usually feel better after doing that. I like to take a bat or golf club outside and just go off, lets alot of stuff out. Just go outside and scream sometimes. (Man I have issues....)
). I just try to calm myself down and hope I feel better. I can relate to your problem and I hope you can learn to control it. Most people see me as being mild mannered also and have never seen me actually pissed of like that.Ive put holes in my wall when I was losing at a game (threw the controller), punched holes in my door, broke stuff from throwing it, etc.. I usually feel better after doing that. I like to take a bat or golf club outside and just go off, lets alot of stuff out. Just go outside and scream sometimes. (Man I have issues....)
Last edited by marc93lx; June-25th-2003 at 10:55 PM.
June-26th-2003, 05:44 AM
#9
Likwidated
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Canada (formerly Yugoslavia)
Posts: 2,159
Originally posted by yellowdragon
Sorry to hear that... Have you considered getting a pet?
Worked for me!
Sorry to hear that... Have you considered getting a pet?
Worked for me!
lol, just kidding
Anyways, you should take up a more physical sport if you get frustrated easily. Also, you should remember that you're playing sports for fun and because you're priviledged. Key word here is 'FUN' not 'FOR MONEY'.......
If you can't enjoy a particular activity, try something else...
June-26th-2003, 06:02 AM
#10
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Windsor, Nova Scotia Canada
Posts: 174
Man I can relate on the golf issue! I used to get super pissed when I screwed up a shot, I'm also inconsistent in my play. The biggest thing I was able to do to help was take that old adage 'One shot at a time'. Sounds stupid but I noticed that one shot in my round wasn't going to screw the day up, and if I wanted to hit my target score my nextone would have to be awesome.
So instead of getting mad I try and relax and think about what made the shot bad... ie lifted my head, lifted out of my swing etc etc. I then try and focus and doing things right the next time.
Sounds silly but it really helped me and allowed me to avoid stringing bad shots together... which made me happier. Nothing makes me feel better then hitting a great shot after flying one into the trees.
As for the other stuff in life I'm not so sure. I used to fly off the handle and now I'm probably more like Adam Sandler in Anger Management Not as much as a pushover but I definatly try and put the situation into perspective.. Will getting mad help?
Anyway good luck with it all and let us know how you shoot in your round.
So instead of getting mad I try and relax and think about what made the shot bad... ie lifted my head, lifted out of my swing etc etc. I then try and focus and doing things right the next time.
Sounds silly but it really helped me and allowed me to avoid stringing bad shots together... which made me happier. Nothing makes me feel better then hitting a great shot after flying one into the trees.
As for the other stuff in life I'm not so sure. I used to fly off the handle and now I'm probably more like Adam Sandler in Anger Management
Not as much as a pushover but I definatly try and put the situation into perspective.. Will getting mad help?Anyway good luck with it all and let us know how you shoot in your round.
