post some jokes here.. could be a game
March-10th-2005, 09:41 PM
#17
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,277
a guy named jack was drivin his car to vegas and it suddenly broke down, late at night... stranded, he started walking and came upon an old house.. came up to the knocked on it and a guy answered come in.. "the man thinks he must think im a relative or somethin"... talks to the guy and is able to stay the night on the coutch.. in the morning breakfast was served.. and damn was it good... when breakfast was over the guy who owns the house gently puts the dishes away (somewhere) and asked if jack could do a little farm work.. he replies "o.k. do you have any heated water?" farmer replies as no just cold water and then heads out side.. the owner of the house falls asleep and ripps major *** untill it was dinner time... jake came back to notice it stank badly. throws up emidiatly.. and goes into the kitchen... the farmer prepared dinner.. jack wonders how the plates were kept soo clean// farmer replies " its as clean as cold water can get em'" after dinner jack notices a dog in the house gaging because of the nastyness in the air.. the farmer yelld "god darnet coldwater what did you get into again?!!"
March-10th-2005, 09:47 PM
#19
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,277
wheres your jokes.. c'mon i know polish people can tell a few...
ill make one up
not a joke though more like a goal in life
anyone else try to cut the cheese sooo bad you get you own dog to gag.. well.. i did
ill make one up
not a joke though more like a goal in life
anyone else try to cut the cheese sooo bad you get you own dog to gag.. well.. i did
March-10th-2005, 09:55 PM
#20
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Lombard IL
Posts: 608
Question: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
Answer: Turn off the carousel.
A Polish man wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Pole to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Pole understood and was ready.
The time came to have the Pole jump from the plane. The instructor reminded the Pole that he would be right behind him. The Pole proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord.
The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Pole. The Pole seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since
I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from Lech Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.
The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the Superbowl, dirt bikes, and so on.
The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Poland these days?"
Question: What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Pole with a Mongoloid?
Answer: A Polaroid One-Step.
Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding
night?
A: A new last name.
Q: What do you get if you integrate around Europe?
A: Zero. Because there are no poles in Europe.
Actually, there are some Poles in Europe, but they're removable.
Q: How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: How do you ruin a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What happens when a Pole doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.
Q: Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.
Q: How do you get a Pole out of the bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: What's delaying the Polish space program?
A: Development of a working match.
Enjoy (everyone i am polish)
Answer: Turn off the carousel.
A Polish man wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Pole to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Pole understood and was ready.
The time came to have the Pole jump from the plane. The instructor reminded the Pole that he would be right behind him. The Pole proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord.
The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Pole. The Pole seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since
I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from Lech Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on.
The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "120." So the robot started talking about the Superbowl, dirt bikes, and so on.
The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "80." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Poland these days?"
Question: What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Pole with a Mongoloid?
Answer: A Polaroid One-Step.
Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding
night?
A: A new last name.
Q: What do you get if you integrate around Europe?
A: Zero. Because there are no poles in Europe.
Actually, there are some Poles in Europe, but they're removable.
Q: How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: How do you ruin a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q: What happens when a Pole doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.
Q: Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.
Q: How do you get a Pole out of the bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: What's delaying the Polish space program?
A: Development of a working match.
Enjoy (everyone i am polish)
March-11th-2005, 11:01 AM
#22
The Jamaican Sensation
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Montgomery, AL
Posts: 2,662
S3\/3r3 0wn@93
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male semen?"
"That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class.... and never returned.
However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic....
Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."
"That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class.... and never returned.
However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic....
Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."
March-11th-2005, 03:51 PM
#25
Rotor Head
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 1,309
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the *** and shout, 'WHO'S HORNY?!' and she acts like she is asleep every time.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the *** and shout, 'WHO'S HORNY?!' and she acts like she is asleep every time.
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