I live in Bama, thought this was hillariously true.


40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

And, Number ONE is:
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight
__________________

 

LMAO! pretty good

 

 

i think that works for okie-homa as well!

 

yeah, I verified it with my friend in Arkansas and his lack of laughing proved further to me that it may be more universal than I originally thought!

 

Duct tape can fix anything!

 

good list

 

"Shakespere for 1000 Alex"....how funny!

 

That's funny.
Michigan is probably no different. Classrooms are about half full when it's opening day for rifle hunting deer here. Everybody seems to own a Harley. I've met people who are literally masters at spinning the F-word into a conversation (and they have to skill to use it to insult, show camraderie, empathy, joy, anger, amazement, and pretty much every other emotion known to man by artfully changing inflection).

But here's my favorite - people have told me that it is basically OK that I own a Mazda, because the company is 1/3 owned by Ford! As if I need approval to spend my hard-earned cash on a car I actually want to drive... gotta love it here in Michigan.