stupid signs
 

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid."
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything.

It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and
says,"Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week
to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this
idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked
'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There
was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test
it."Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want
you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when
they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled
right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,
then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I
could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you
know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his
basic questioning ... okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear
of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't
help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and
said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said,
"Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all your friends. The
next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.

Someone a Bill Engvall(sp?) fan?

Don't even get me started on this topic man,

One day I'm making a sandwich in the kitchen, I've got the bread out on the counter and the cold cuts sitting next to me and all the good stuff in plain sight. My roommate at the time wanders into to the kitchen and says "what are you doing?" I too couldn't resist so I say to him "I'm playing chess, what the heck does it look like I'm doing?"

Same guy, different day. The phone rings and I pick it up, after about the 10 seconds I take to find out the phone is for him I say the standard "Chris...it's for you."

He replies "What's for me?"

It just boggled my mind so I reply "The door..."

I kid you not this moron got up and walked over to the door and opened it.

for starters I love Bill Engvall, and when he and Jeff Foxworthy were together on his show it was total riot.....


NOW, I am here to tell you that I honestly believe that on some days I am totally surrounded by those people REQUIREING one of those signs!!!!