Dumb criminals
 

December 8, 2005

"Man steals van minutes after release from jail"
Associated Press

JUNEAU, Alaska- It was only a small taste of freedom.
David Mulligan, 21, of Sitka, served 25 days in jail for drunken driving, and was released at 7 am Tuesday. Authorities say he stole a van three minutes later. :nono:
Police said a man who lives a block from the Lemon Creek Correctional Center had left his 1997 Dodge van running to warm up when he went inside the house. It was gone when he came out!
:cookoo:
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Lincoln, Nebraska

A would-be pharmacy robber ran off when a pharmacist called him by name and asked whether the robbery was a joke, authorities said.
A man wearing a sweat shirt and sunglasses approached the counter of a Hinky Dinky Pharmacy about 7:30 am Monday. He told the pharmacists that he was going to rob them but did not show a weapon.
The pharmacist recognized the man's voice because he was a previous customer, police officer Katherine Finnell said.
The man spun around and ran out the store, then boarded a city bus. Mitchell Kruse, 44, was arrested and charged with attempted robbery, Finnell said Tuesday. :wewant:

wow...this world is going str8 to hell..

Part Ii
 

Part II

Got this from another member:

1. When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked...

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved...

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cashdrawer, the
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer ...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you
money, is a crime committed?)

7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled: "FREEZE,
MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A **** UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent.
Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and
doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been
about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief
got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the
event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the
words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

8. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief
on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
of polycarbonate. The whole event was caught on videotape.

9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had...

"A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was
the best laugh he'd ever had..."



that had to suck!!!

^ haha, now thats funny!

HAHAHA!!!
the last one and the one about the man who shot the woman in chicago for taking his parking space are the best

My teacher read all those to us the other day for some reason..

By far the best one

Hahah, lmao, these are great!

LOL i love the nutjobs one haha

-

December 15, 05

Associated Press

"Car Thieves Leave Photos of Themselves"

REDLANDS, Calif. - Police say they had a lot of help nabbing a pair of car theft suspects-from the suspects themselves.
The men left behind not only fingerprints, but also photos of themselves inside and outside the stolen 2001 Ford Mustang, police said.
The photos were taken with a disposable camera the suspects found in the Mustang. They left it behind when they abandoned the car.
"These are not the brightest people" said Carl Baker, a Redlands police spokesman.
The evidence led police Friday to the Redlands home of Albert Engelsman, 28. Police say he was wearing the same shirt he had on the photos.
An arrest warrant has also been issued for his alleged accomplice, Matthew Montanez, 22, or Rialto, Baker said.
:bt:

musta been a kodak moment.